The Essay of Hate
by Shadow Demoness
Summary: An deep moving, heart trending essay of hate of the card scapegoat. At the end I have deck awards.


The Essay of Hate, Why I despise Scapegoat  
  
Before I start I will tell you about the Scapegoat and why from now on I loathe it and Jounouchi (Joey). When you play this card, you can't Summon, Reverse Summon or Special Summon any more monsters during that turn. Put 4 [Goat Tokens] (Earth/Animal/1/0/0) on the Field in defense mode. They cannot be sacrificed to summon. This card doesn't look that bad right? WRONG. TOTALLY WRONG!!! This demonic, stressful, insolent, irrational, idiotic, mess up card is the most despise, deriding, disparage, flea- bitten, and all the synonyms in the world that relate to this card is terrible, just horrifying. Now onto the essay.  
  
I was a poor, innocent soul that was an outcast to the world when my little brother had downloaded Yugi-oh onto our computer. It was in Japanese but I didn't care. I tried it and I found it pleasing and fun yet I didn't understand about that the little purple flag and when I click on it I lost. This was later on discovered as the surrender button. (Note to reader don't EVER push that button) It happen two days after my little brother had downloaded it. He had just beaten Mokuba 17 times. Mokuba was another poor, poignant soul. Ah the woe of this world yet he was one with the hand of vengeance. (Looks at her hand sadly almost regretfully) When my brother tried to fight him again Mokuba summoned his big brother Kaiba into attack mode. He literally obliterated my little brother. (Yay!!! Go him!!! Kaiba you rock!!!) Afterwards he was devastated and he handed the controls to me. I was beating Mako for the sixth time in a row with my weak deck. (Good thing he doesn't have a strong big brother.) My meager deck strongest card was a Blue Eyes Ultimate followed by the deprived of power Black Skull Dragon. When I was challenge to a battle with Anzu (Tea) my anguish and despair started, hark me so my dearest reader. After twenty minutes of her weak, annoying cards. (Cept Saint Jeanue my favorite card) I went on in my path of woe and destruction to Yugi's Grandpa. I had beaten him with my despair because he had given me sympathy and surrendered.  
  
~Out of nowhere my brother shows up, " You destroy him and was laughing evilly at him and call'n him weak".  
  
~Pushes him out of the way~ "This is my essay get lost punk" ~clears throat~ Afterwards HE came he of the card of abhorrence, detestation, abomination, disgrace, I'll could go on forever. I was winning; I had my beloved Blue Eyes Ultimate out. And all he had out was a Cannon Solider. It was his turn when he brought it out. The Scapegoat. That pusillanimous, lily-livered, atrocious, disgusting, and revolting card that the world had to offer. Using that card he destroyed the Scapegoats for the Cannon Soldier's effect was that you could destroy a monster and the other person loses 500 life points, Evil yes? NONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Not evil. Evil is cool, um I mean sad, melancholy and that was not it. One by one he destroyed the scapegoat cards. subsequent by subsequent dragged by. I had loss 2000 of my 6500 LP. And the terror did not end there. He had a second one the nightmare started once more the pathetic card baaing at me. Now I had only 2500 LP. I was ready to kill he only had 4000 left and in my hand was Thunderbolt and Giant Growth with Reborn. Yet in his disgusting, redundant, ever so loathing, crummy hand held the 3rd card. Oh how the fates foretold of blitz to attack my psyche. Five minutes of torture as he chose a monster and destroyed it, making me to lose 500. Each times those goats, laughing at me inside my cranium. The pain, agony, the humiliations to him, that... monster. He who brought yet more pain into my soul, the hatred that entered my once poor, misguided spirit. My pain was torment as he click on the monster and destroyed it. I had 500 LP left I could have ended it all, yet he destroyed his Cannon Solider making me lose the match. My blitzkrieg exploded, I couldn't stop. I scream in torment as the screen with Joey was there, I couldn't read Japanese but in English it said HA HA HA and with more chicken scratches ending with!!!!!!!  
  
Anger fills my heart with loathing. His eyes dancing, his hair so pointy he was a dumb blonde. It just so happened that my brother was watching a re- run that I recorded long ago, eons past, Joey laughing his stupid horse, no GOAT laugh. Oh I would of shot the TV if I didn't remember it cost so much. I look for the Jounouchi Structure deck paper thingy and ripped the front cover and tore it limb to limb. Then I found the picture of the Scapegoat. Now where is it? Its going round and round in the well you know. My hate for him only increased from every episode his stupid deck (cept REBD) his stupid hair, his stupid laugh, his stupid name, his STUPID SCAPEGOAT!!!!!  
  
The End or is it?  
  
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Now on to my deck awards.  
  
The Most Annoying deck award goes to...  
  
Drum roll please...  
  
TEA with her weak fairies and demon cards that heal. (Saint Jeanue not including you, you are da bomb!!!)  
  
My story was a terrible one but not nearly as horrible as the one with Jounichi's (I'm running out of synonyms so I going have to repeat) Ah at the end the peak of her LP was 13000 before I pulled out BSD and Magnet Warrior master thingy and her deck was demised. It was ok I have a lot of patience like the time were we were at a bus stop and after two minutes I was... never mind. Well she is given the most annoying deck award. ~Claps her hands~ Good Job Tea. All you now need is the knowledge of none healers. Yes they do exist. ~nods her head furiously~  
  
Next the Cheapest Deck award goes to...  
  
Drum rolls please, Dum Dum Dum DUM...  
  
Yami Yugi. Yes in this game that I was playing you are not he and also including the episodes. Isn't it annoying how he picks up the right card ever-single time? I wish my deck were like that. ~sniff sniff~ In the game every single time he pulls out the three magnet warriors and the effect monster thingy and assembles them then somehow brings the other three out even though you are suppose to sacrifice them and kills you in his first move or second move. I also give him The One Who needs the Haircut the Most award too. Good job Mr. Muoto you have two awards.  
  
Now here comes the Um I want a Deck but don't Have One award,  
  
Dum Dum Dum DUM...  
  
Honda (Tristen). He doesn't have a fricken deck yet all his friends have one even Tea. Isn't that so sad. It has been brought to my attention that he has some cards, yeah only ten at the most and his favorite card has like 300 attack power. Ah poor him almost feel sorry for him. Yugi did too because when he summoned him he covered the attack points on it. I'm not kidding just watch the one with Bakura.  
  
Next the Fisherman of the Yami award goes to...  
  
Skipping the drum roll,  
  
Mako. I had my Yami as the field power thingy and he sent out the Legendary Fisherman. AND GUESS WHAT? THE effect still worked! ~sweatdrop~ heh hehe ehhehe. That time he also had the hurricane permanent trap card thing out so he couldn't lose any LP so I had to wait until he couldn't draw any more cards. Another brilliant test of patience just tell you. Ah my friend reader if you haven't fell asleep yet just asked my brother he could tell you about my patients and how I yelled and screamed and cussed and never mind moving one.  
  
The Poor and Innocent Deck award goes to,  
  
Drum roll please my dear brother, ~poke'mon music is heard throughout the land. * I want to be the very best as no one ever was to catch them is my test the the ~shuts down~  
  
MICHAEL!!  
  
~little brother head pops up grinning~ Much better don' cha think? Or do you Hamtaro?  
  
~shudders deeply makes cross with her fingers~ No anything but that, I'm already a poor innocent soul do not make me suffer any more. ~evil light shines through her eyes~ Yet... ~Unsheathes Masamune( FYI ff7 means 6 feet blade) DIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
~he runs away screaming~ MOOOMMMMMMMMM! She's scaring me again.  
  
~coughs~ Anyway it goes to Mokuba. His strongest card is like 1300 attack points and he doesn't use magic or trap and hasn't learned the defense mode exists. He sent out a Mystic Elf in attack mode you get the point.  
  
I gonna hurry up cause ya probably bored to death now.  
  
The Cold Callous yet I'm not a Bad Guy award goes to...  
  
~birthday song heard~ MICHAEL!!!  
  
Goes to Kaiba, the second coolest person award. What is not to like about him? He is soooooooo cool. He pushed out his own adopted father out a window just to get the company! (in the manga) too cool. ~hugs him~ Kaiba, is also one that you don't want to mess with. He beats you in one move with Devil Franken and Giant Growth on BEUD. Ouch. Its ok though still he is so incredible bishie unlike Yugi.  
  
Next is the Death Deck Award...  
  
~brings out Masamune~  
  
~drum rolls are heard~  
  
BAKURA!!!!!!! Yes the all-incredible, totally cool bishie that is the coolest that holds number three in my bishie list. First and Second are a tie between Sephiroth (ff7 the one with the katana I was holding) and Link (Zelda). ~drools~ He put out Ouija Board against my brother twice. He didn't do it to me though because he is so cool. Ouija Board is Exodia for the magic and trap card zone. Ah what is to not to like about him. His charm, his eyes, his yami is a psychopath, and HIS HAIR. Many of my favorite char in shows have silver hair Hiead from Pilot Candidate, Sephy... ~dreamy look~ Um next award. Though I gonna make myself clear that I hate Peggy and I glad that in the manga Bakura makes him all, never mind this is PG not appropriate and probably a major dub will be place or the whole thing skipped.  
  
Next the most Loathe, Disgusting, Redundant, Demonic, Stressful, Insolent, Irrational, Idiotic, Pusillanimous, Lily-livered, Atrocious, Disgusting, Revolting, Despise, Deriding, Disparage, Flea-bitten card in the world award goes to...  
  
~funeral march is heard~ Shadow Demoness prepares Masamune in right hand and Master Sword in the other. Behind her are tanks, a Blue Eyes Ultimate, Black Skull Dragon, Red Eyes Black Dragon (even his card denounces him), Saint Jeanue, fighter jets, the X-men, and Darth Vader with the whole Empire, Moro, and San. (The last two are from Mononoke Hime.) Jounichi runs away only to be followed by the invading armies.  
  
THAT'LL TEACH YOU SON-OF-A-SAGI. YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER YOU @#$$@#$@#$^&*#$!!@#%$#%*&*%$&)(^^&&&^$%^$^$^@@#$%#. The rest is unheard with all the loud noises.  
  
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Well what do you think? The last was a bit unheard of but I had to get it off my chest. I'll probably be flamed with the part of Joey but I have a reason to hate him, he is so mean. That didn't happen once it happened thrice with the Scapegoats. And the HA's and the chicken scratches also was true.  
  
Battle music of "Lets duel" is heard Shadow Demoness verses her little brother. He pulls out Scapegoat and Shadow Demoness lets out a piercing shriek grabbing the card, running to a desert in Nevada, hijacking a nuclear warhead and sending it towards the card.  
  
Ok declaimer yes at the end didn't want to wreck my beginning I don't own Yugi-oh, ff7, Zelda, and Princess Mononoke, X-men, and Star Wars. And I will also add that none of the people and animals (cept the paper of Joey and Scapegoats were harmed in the making of this story.)  
  
Alright I know all of you are dying to know of the site my brother downloaded from. Tell you what all you have to do is to submit a review and then email me at gathaira@yahoo.com and I'll send you how to get it. That isn't blackmail or something close to it is it?.  
  
To tell my dearest readers all of the insults to my brother were only added into the story for laughs though the things that were in the duels did happen he tells me that he doesn't like Poke'mon and Hamtaro is for idiots though he does have two Scapegoats. ~Stress Mark~ Yet he is gonna tell mom the second I death glare one. 


End file.
